rewind, erase, rewrite..........*smile*

[lostspirit (deleted)]

For once, I am going to do something I never do. Take away the negative and replace it with something positive. I do know, and firmly believe negativity begets more negativity. So, in order to draw more positive things to myself in my life.....I'm going to shake things up in an attempt to re-wire my 33 yr old brain, so that I don't turn myself into a bitter old hag, LOL.

So, I look forward to taking pictures of the blanket of snow this coming winter. In the ground and trees; and filming my son playing in it

I already have footage of him jumping in a pile of crunchy fall leaves in the lot behind our apartment. That was cute. And I appreciate those little moments of happiness that we do have in our life.[/b][/i]

[thedragonsaint (deleted)]

`the colonialists had help too, at least from Africa if i remember correctly. African tribe members sold one another out for more power, land etc you get sh*tty people from all nations. certain people just knew when to capitalize on the opportunity. People can't get ahead if there aren't rats lying about waiting to sell out (no offense to rodents)

The guy who wrote Roots, Alex Haley, he cribbed the story from someone else believe it or not. I cried when i read that book (first quarter was slowly going though) but after finding out that Haley had basically stolen another african's story, I wanted to punch him - people will tramp over one another to get ahead, doesn't matter if you have the same skin colour - if your soul is rotten you won't give 2 cents about anyone.

Get a punching bag, some boxing gloves and blow off some of that energy.

[harmony68 (deleted)]

`thank you for bringing up this topic lostspirit and your response dragonsaint.

this year i am refusing to go spend time with my "family" which includes my younger(est) sister who has along list of characteristics i dont accept in my friends, why would i accept them in my sister? i am not perfect, never claim to be, but i am pretty angry myself right now.

Three years ago, my kids and her kids got along fine. I have pictures to prove it! But in the time since then, slowly, things have changed drastically. the kids put up a front, in front of my mother, their grandmother, to make her happy.

I am not doing it anymore.

I had written a big ol long shpeal about why i dont like my sister, but thats not important. i pretty much feel that its not ok to settle and let things go to keep people happy. pretend that everything is ok, hunky dory, so basically be fake! And even now, my mother doesnt understand why I refuse to go to my sisters house this year. To ME, its more important to tell your family that you love them year round. Not necessarily just on a CERTAIN day, you know?

Anyway, that is my rant.

[lostspirit (deleted)]

And the neighbor upstairs JUST moved out, so I am looking forward to conveniently moving out, and upstairs instead of across town. I am totally relieved and excited !

[harmony68 (deleted)]

`capitalizing on the lives and wellbeing of others - life long plague to what is considered "economic gain and prosperity" Horrible!

lostspirit... how are you doin on your anger today? mine isnt great either. trying to keep it under wraps

[thedragonsaint (deleted)]

`Can i join in ? We can be the 3 musketeers !!! Seriously though, sometimes alot of horrid stuff happens all at once and trying to keep your anger under wraps in most cases just stores everything one on top of the other until you're like a pressure cooker.
If something is bothering you, then rather not let your feelings simmer under the surface but let it out (not in the serial murder 'I'm venting my anger against the world and might have your spleen on rye toast tomorrow' type but take whoever it is to task and make sure none of you move until you're through explaining everything)

I've a quick fuse and speaking of myself the more i bottle stuff up trying not to act like a nut, the worse my mood gets until i become a royal pain in the a$$ - by then I've been disowned by everyone in the southern hemisphere. no one's saying act like a maniac but if you've got issues, make sure you address them properly.

smoochies to you both

[harmony68 (deleted)]

`thanks. yes i think we would make a snazzy group!

i got angry with my mother, and told her i didnt want to talk about it. a week and a half later, she tells me that I hurt her feelings? really? are you kidding me?

i try to talk to people when i am not angry, cause i dont want regrets

[thedragonsaint (deleted)]

lol, I'll do the costumes

your mother sounds like mine, when I'm calm and all willing to talk, i usually forget to say half the stuff I need to say and she NEVER lets me talk - someone once advised me to write down everything but the one and only time i tried that, i jammed the pencil into my palm when things began heating up. everyone in my family (immediate family) is like me, quick to blow up and so long as no one's deliberately being 'slow' upstairs, we can work things out if we're all being honest and upfront. the moment a third party steps in, everything blows out of proportion

[lostspirit (deleted)]

harmony68 wrote: lostspirit... how are you doin on your anger today? mine isnt great either. trying to keep it under wraps




Haha, I'm good Harmony. I did good yesterday after having some yummy arabic food. There's just something really healing about ethnic foods. I found so grounded after that meal, and very content

[lostspirit (deleted)]

thedragonsaint wrote: `Can i join in ? We can be the 3 musketeers !!! Seriously though, sometimes alot of horrid stuff happens all at once and trying to keep your anger under wraps in most cases just stores everything one on top of the other until you're like a pressure cooker.
If something is bothering you, then rather not let your feelings simmer under the surface but let it out (not in the serial murder 'I'm venting my anger against the world and might have your spleen on rye toast tomorrow' type but take whoever it is to task and make sure none of you move until you're through explaining everything)

I've a quick fuse and speaking of myself the more i bottle stuff up trying not to act like a nut, the worse my mood gets until i become a royal pain in the a$$ - by then I've been disowned by everyone in the southern hemisphere. no one's saying act like a maniac but if you've got issues, make sure you address them properly.

smoochies to you both



Writing is my ONLY outlet unfortunately. Usually I'm blogging or writing in Forums. It's a way for me to air out my dirty laundry. It keeps me less than violent well that and my sons warm, chubby, kissable cheeks.

[thedragonsaint (deleted)]

`lol, what say I come live next door to you and everytime you feel like that, I'll just snatch some poor dude off the road and we can beat up on him together ? Give us some bonding time :D

[lostspirit (deleted)]

Hey, I'm on a roll. Let's see, what else is good that I appreciate these days? Hmmmm

Well, as much as I complain about my current sweetheart, I really just need to get over myself. I mean, no one is perfect. When I think of all the bs my ex's put me through, and how miserable their vices made me....I look at him, and he's damn near squeaky clean. He just needs to be a little more reliable, make up his mind about what he wants, and be a little more honest (this may be asking a LOT though; lots of men have a problem with exaggeration, or just flat out lying for no good reason). But, whatever.....he's really not THAT bad when I think about it. I'm so used to junk, I can't seem to appreciate when I've got it good. I really don't want to be stupid. With my luck, his replacement would be another smoker/alcoholic.

[thedragonsaint (deleted)]

`LOL oookay, don't forget to neuter him while you're at it

and if you put him on ebay, i want first dibs *drool*